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Handling talented, but toxic, employees

May 2010 Quest for Workplace Excellence

When you think of the driving force behind the choices of leaders when coaching employees, what emotion comes to mind? Is it appreciation? How about passion? Optimism? For many managers it is those. For some managers, unfortunately, the driving force is fear. Fear of what an employee will say or do if things do not go their way.

These employees who are causing fear in leaders are typically the employees who are the top performers, obtaining great results, but are still managing to leave a path of destruction behind them. They are not pleasant to work with. They throw fits. They threaten to quit. Never are they accountable for their actions, and if they are held accountable, giving the manager the cold shoulder is a common response. However, because of extensive knowledge, experience, etc., they are, or at least they convince others that they are, indispensable. This gives them leverage, and they use their talents to drive fear into their managers by holding them hostage.

If you have an employee like this, but still manage to find yourself thinking, “I don’t know what I would do without them,” you may be in treacherous waters. It could be the employee that strolls in late everyday, but is the contact person for your major accounts and seems to know all the customer needs to a “T.” Or maybe it’s the intelligent, but easily angered, employee who has knowledge of complex systems within the company that no one else knows. You are right when you say that you don’t know what you would do without them, because being without them is a scary thought. But it is possible. These employees hold you hostage on purpose and threaten to make you walk the proverbial plank if you do not comply.

It is important to remember what we have said time and time again: the difference between a leader and a manager lies in one word: power. Managers get their power from a title that is based on an organizational chart. Based on a manager’s position, they have the power to tell a certain group of people what to do. A leader may or may not have a formal title and/or position of authority, but they have a relationship with people where others make the decision to follow them. A great question to ask is: if you left your current organization and became a manager in a new organization, would your direct reports follow? Would they still follow you if the salary was the same or a little less? If no one is following you, you are merely taking a walk.

When you don’t do what you should do to hold your direct reports accountable, and you avoid doing so out of fear, you are neither a leader nor a manager: you are a HOSTAGE!

To be a leader, you need to be respected. When an employee holds you hostage, they are showing that they don’t respect you, even though the employee doesn’t come and tell you to your face. A bigger problem is that everyone on your team sees that you don’t hold the deviant employee liable and the rest of the team may begin to lose respect for you.

Here are 10 tips to release your hostage bonds and start down the path to re-claim your position of manager and relationship status of leader.

1. Lean in and get closer to the employee. Employees who hold their managers hostage effectively do so because they know their manager is hesitant or lacks the confidence to talk to them about the issue. When employees exhibit behaviors that undermine the success of the organization, team or manager, these behaviors need to be addressed in a timely manner.

2. Don’t manage by hope and hint. When an employee does something they are not supposed to do, tell them exactly what you need them to do differently and when you need them to do it in order to be a successful member of the team.

3. Utilize the strategy, “notify now, meet later.” If you have let the employee know about the importance of arriving to work on time, the next time they come to work late, say something like, “John, we need to talk about your contributions to the team. I don’t have the time right at the moment but I want to meet with you at 4:00 pm today.” This accomplishes two things. First, it immediately lets the employee know that the behavior is a problem for you. Second, it lets the employee think about the meeting during the day and that, most likely, is a good thing. Last, it allows you time as the manager to carefully think about what you want to say, or the questions you want to ask, in order to gain agreement that there is a problem.

4. Clear your strategy with your boss and HR. What you don’t want is for the employee to go around you, to your boss and have your boss side with the employee over fear of what the employee might do. When the employee says, “I am going to HR or your boss,” if you have reviewed your strategy and both HR and your boss are on the same page with you, you can look the employee in the eye and say, “Going to HR and/or my boss is a great idea. Would you like me to help you get the meetings set up?”

5. Follow up. During your meeting to discuss your employee’s accountability, set up the next meeting to review their progress. To ensure that the meeting will happen, be sure to put it into both of your calendars.

6. Expect the J Curve. When you begin to hold people accountable who resent the fact you are asking them to change their behaviors, many times the relationship gets worse before it improves. For example, prior to meeting with an employee, he communicated with me very little about the progress of his projects (the end of the small curve on the letter J). After I met with him about turning his projects in complete and on time, he stopped communicating with me altogether. (The relationship gets worse – moves into the lower part of the J curve). As we worked through the problems and he turned in his projects on time, he felt better about his performance and the relationship rose much higher up the stem of the letter J than before. Knowing the J curve, when the relationship declines, you can say, “I thought that might happen,” and you shouldn’t let it bother you.

7. Remember the truth. Employees who threaten to quit over being held accountable, very seldom actually follow through on their threat. The reason that most employees don’t quit is because when they think about having to find a new job, they quickly remember that any new employer is not going to put up with their attitude. They will have to change even more for a new employer than they would when correcting the problem you are currently discussing with them.

8. Cross-train others. This is suggested not only for employees that hold you hostage, but also for any employee that has specific knowledge or skills in your organization that no one else has. When this knowledge is shared with at least one other person, the threat of the employee leaving is greatly decreased, because, when and if they leave, you won’t be up the creek without a paddle.

9. Document. It is also important to record all processes and procedures so that this knowledge is accessible and preserved. Be sure to inform all employees of this practice and let them know that this is a priority. They key with this is to follow up to ensure that processes and procedures are recorded.

10. Have the guts to take big action! If the employee is not going to change, then you need to regain your leadership title the old fashion way. Coach them. Counsel them. Train them. Document your process with HR’s help. When all this does not work, SHARE THEM WITH YOUR BEST COMPETITOR. There is no greater strategic planning action than to take the employee who causes you the greatest grief, and give them to your competitor to screw up their business plan.

    When interviewing to fill their position, ask candidates, “How do you feel about helping out in the ______ department?” The employees’ responses will give you insight as to whether you have another prima donna on your hands or a great new team member who will be eager to help colleagues, resulting in shared knowledge. When you begin to work on cool stuff with your new employee, your competitor will be thinking, “How did I even get into this hostage situation?”

When you can finally remove the word Hostage from your business cards, you will once again be able to say, “I love my job!”

Have you had any experience with being held “hostage” by one of your employees? How did you change things to ensure it never happened again?

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• The “J” Curve of Employee Accountability
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• Developing a Culture of Accountability: What to Do