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One of the challenges of dealing with conflict is to help people maintain healthy relationships during and after periods of conflict.  Simply resolving the problem is not enough.  The people involved must be satisfied with the outcome and attention must be given to their emotional well-being.  If these two areas are not addressed, chances are other problems will surface within time.  The following tips will help you maintain healthy relationships during periods of conflict.

 1.   Encourage commitment and participation

As conflict escalates, the people involved become consumed with their cause and the  good of the organization becomes secondary.  Managers and supervisors can help people overcome problems that split groups by encouraging participation.  Getting parties involved to admit ownership of the problem and work towards resolution helps build commitment to the good of the organization.   Creating a neutral environment in which both parties can present their facts, discuss the problem, and suggest ideas for resolving the conflict is one way to support and encourage participation.  Reminding people that collectively “we” own the problems and collectively “we” have the power to resolve them is another good technique for encouraging commitment.

 2.   Question and listen to determine the facts

Conflict, by nature, gets emotional.  Although people may not intentionally lie, their perspective colors their perception of the facts.  As a leader during conflict resolution, keep listening and questioning to make sure that you have the facts straight.  As people passionately present their case, this will be a challenge.  In order to support people during conflict, don’t argue with their facts.  Instead, keep questioning, making sure that all parties have an opportunity to be heard before any decisions are made.  Typically, when the facts are separated from the opinions, it becomes easier to think creatively and propose alternative solutions leading to an acceptable solution to the conflict being discussed.

 3.   Take more time to reach a decision, if necessary

Although we are not recommending avoidance as a problem-solving technique, declaring a “timeout” at some point in the conflict resolution process may be helpful.  Occasionally people become so passionate about their cause that they lose their perspective.  Sometimes the facts needed to resolve a problem are not available.  In each case, it would be beneficial to take additional time before trying to resolve the conflict.   Leaders must communicate why they are delaying the decision so that the parties involved maintain their confidence in their leadership. 

 4.   Listen, listen, listen

During periods of conflict, listening skills are critical.  It costs you nothing to listen and gives you a much better perspective on the problems surrounding the conflict.  As managers and supervisors, we are used to doing the talking.  We feel confident when we are in charge of the conversation.  As a leader dealing with conflict, however, we need to stop talking and start listening. Listening tells the people we supervise that we have the time and care about their concerns.  Listening will give you the facts and information you need to better make informed decisions leading to resolution of the problem.  Finally, listening helps build strong relationships which ultimately builds strong organizations.

 5.   Focus on the problem, not the people

This is a challenge, because in stages two and three conflict, the people and the problem are intertwined.  Personalities align with one another and the details surrounding the facts or situation that originally started the conflict become obscured.  As a leader, you must work hard to keep the people issues separate from the facts.   Again, create a safe, neutral environment in which parties can meet to discuss their concerns.  Insist that parties focus on the facts.  If emotions flare and parties begin attacking one another personally, steer the discussion back to the facts.  Insist that parties listen to one another as they present their facts.  Get agreement from both parties on the facts.  Sticking to the facts plays down emotional responses and enhances the problem-solving process.

Finally, recognize that despite all that you do to keep your leadership positive and focused on organizational goals, conflict in the workplace will be inevitable!  If we worked only with machines, conflict would not be a challenge.  As we work with people, though, it can be expected that relationships will be stretched from time to time and we will be faced with the task of helping people resolve stressful situations.  Use what you have learned to confidently counsel, mediate, and lead during a time of organizational conflict.   Your ability to help others deal rationally with conflict will identify you as a valuable team player within your organization.  Remember that conflict does not have to be feared, nor spell disaster for a team.     Knowing what you now do about conflict resolution, recognize it as an opportunity to practice and further yet another one of your leadership skills!