A quick review of current articles on the topic of cross-generational communication is full of detail about the differences between how we communicate in today’s multigenerational office. You’ve heard this before, but succinctly:

• Boomers: Born between 1946 and 1964: This generation at work is seen as hard working, committed, goal oriented, loyal and motivated by rank/title. They have paid their dues to achieve their status and expect others to do the same. They are a generation of communicators and relationship builders. They are also sticklers for using written and spoken English grammar correctly . . . as defined by their English teachers.
• Generation X: Born between 1965 and 1980: This generation was the first to be raised in homes where both parents worked, or were raised by a single parent. They had tremendous autonomy as children, and see themselves as equals to parents, teachers and bosses. As a generation, they are independent, resilient and adaptable. They were the first generation to see organizations default on their loyalty to employees, witnessing the mass layoffs and reorganizations during the 80s. As such, they are committed to their work, wherever it may be, but see less benefit in a long-term commitment to a company. As communicators, they like to work autonomously. Conference calls, Email, video, and Web conferencing are preferred over face-to-face meetings.
• Millennials or Generation Y: Born between 1981 and 1994: This generation is the most educated and culturally diverse group in the workforce today. They are motivated by meaningful work and want to feel inclusive within their teams and organizations. Recognition is high on their list of motivators. They are driven by causes and community service. For them, work/life balance is critical and often the career determinant. They are the most tech savvy in the workplace, seeing the need to accomplish the work, but not necessarily on-site. The recent determination by Marissa Mayer to require Yahoo employees to complete their work on-site is a very public example of the collision between Millennials’ communication/working styles and preferences and a more traditional view of the workplace . . . you’ve got to be here to be considered working.

Briefly, that’s what the research says about the generations in the workplace today . . . along with volumes of advice about how leaders should be communicating differently with each employee, based on their generational classification. While in general, the advice is good, it’s certainly not a one-size fits all solution. Leaders would be shortchanging their ability to build solid relationships with employees by trying to communicate with them based on their generational preferences. So I’m going to stick with our long-standing premise: Great leaders treat people the way they want to be treated. Classifying people by their generational distinctions and communicating with them differently, based on their perceived communication likes/dislikes discounts the employee and shortchanges the leader’s ability to build strong, effective working relationships with team members.

What follows are some ideas on how to enhance communication throughout today’s workplace, regardless of generation.

1. Know your employees: Effective leadership is all about building relationships. You can’t build relationships without knowing your team members. Even if you’re always pressed for time, making time for conversations with your employees is critical. Saying that you have an open door policy is one thing, but truly welcoming team members into your office with their ideas, complaints, suggestions, and actively listening to them is the real test of leadership. Encouraging employee input, taking action based on their input and recognizing contributions all indirectly convey that you intend to be a good communicator.
2. Keep your employees informed: It doesn’t matter which generation you’re in, we all want to be in the know. No one likes surprises. Take time to keep your employees informed about what’s happening within your team and the organization. The more informed people feel, the more included they feel and the better they feel about their association with your team or organization. When you don’t have the answer or are unsure of the reason for a particular decision, be honest with your employees and do whatever you can to get more information to them as soon as possible. Because there has been so much discussion about how the generations like to receive communication, if you mix up the way you communicate you should meet everyone’s communication needs. Sometimes face-to-face delivery will be best. Other times, email will work just fine. A great strategy is to keep your office door open for anyone who has questions.
3. Encourage employees to share information: Great leaders know that everyone should be involved in improving communication. If your employees rely solely on you to keep them informed, you’ll quickly become overwhelmed and the employees won’t get all that they need to do a quality job. Let your staff know that you expect them to share information on a regular basis. Actively involve others in giving updates and sharing other relevant information. When employees do a good job of sharing important information, make sure you recognize them.
4. Use a variety of tools to disseminate information: Face-to-face communication is so important, but that might not always be an option. In this case, be creative. Understand that different team members will have different preferences for receiving information. To the best of your ability, try to meet their needs. The list of communication options is endless but here are a few to start with:
   
   • Email
   • Text
   • Go to Meeting format
   • Video or teleconferencing
   • Departmental bulletin board
   • Organizational or departmental newsletter
   • Suggestion box
   • Special information-sharing meetings
5. Be Responsive: Not responding to emails squashes communication and reduces morale. The sender doesn’t know you haven’t received it, or if you just haven’t taken action yet. Whatever the reason for the non-response, the employee interprets your non-response negatively. A general rule of thumb is to get back to people within a maximum of 24 hours. A better rule of thumb for some would be to get back within four hours. (I’m finding today that people have a much shorter expectation for a return to their message – regardless of their generation.) When someone sends you an email or leaves a phone message, get back as soon as you can to let that person know what you are doing about the concern. Even if you cannot respond with a complete answer or solution right away, you can let them know that you are working on it and that you will get back ASAP. Then, do what you said you would do. No excuses.
6. Mentor: This may be a strange recommendation to improve communication, but mentoring clearly conveys that you care about the team member. The world of work is ever evolving, and sometimes team members don’t have an understanding of the organizational politics and nuances. Taking time to mentor the employee about the proper way to address senior leaders, project confidence in a meeting, sell their ideas, dress appropriately when working with a client or company email etiquette will help them be seen more positively and better reach their full potential. On the same topic, reverse mentoring can also improve communication with tech savvy Millennials and Gen Xers helping Boomers with their smart phones and other technologies. Mentoring works both ways, builds workplace relationships and improves communication.

Don’t we live in interesting times? Each generation in the workplace brings a unique set of talents and challenges. However, at the end of the day, we all have to figure out how to communicate with one another in a way that brings out the best in each of us. Having a them against us mentality won’t help anyone achieve their professional objectives. Thinking that the older generation is going to teach the younger communication how to communicate alienates people and discourages open-communication. Instead, having an understanding about generational communication preferences and communicating with people the way they want to be communicated with, will help everyone improve overall efficiency and productivity. And*, better yet, create a great place to work . . . a place where everyone feels respected, valued, recognized and included.

*I know it’s not proper English to start a sentence with And, but these times are changing. LOL.

On March 31st, 2013, Kevin Ware was leading the University of Louisville in a NCAA Midwest Regional final game against Duke on their way to a National Championship. In an anticipated moment of the game, Ware leapt into the air to block a shot and landed off balance and ended up with a compound fracture of his lower leg. What was amazing was the reaction of his teammates: shock, horror, and dropping to their knees in utter disbelief and deep sadness as they saw Ware’s tibia sticking 6 inches outside his leg. All of them reacted like this except for one teammate. The brave Luke Hancock stepped up and took the role of the leader in the moment of crisis. Hancock was the first person at Ware’s side. Hancock was kneeling down next to Ware and holding him before the Athletic Director, Coach, or team doctors could get there.

When watching the video—which you can see here: warning, it’s graphic—you’ll notice that Hancock was the only player on the Louisville bench with an initial movement toward Ware, rather than moving away. Although all of us act differently in the moment of crisis, one thing that’s always needed when there’s a crisis is a leader. The following 5 tips will help you become the leader in the moment when crisis strikes.

1. Get calmer: When others respond with disbelief, fear, inaction or moving away from the crisis, this is what a leader lives for. The opportunity is to provide leadership when it’s needed and exactly where it’s needed. Quickly assess the situation and figure out what needs to be done to improve the situation.
2. Get closer and get involved: We work with many senior leaders who know they have teamwork and communication problems on their team. For example, the leader knows that several members of their team don’t get along and are not in agreement with the team’s vision and goals. Instead of getting closer, getting involved and resolving the conflict, these leaders tend to hide in their office and hope that the problems will be resolved. Do the opposite of this. Get out there and make sure the conflict is resolved.
3. Do the right thing: While it’s easy to ask yourself what the right thing is to do, it’s much more difficult to actually do it. The right thing may be the opposite of what most people do when faced with a crisis. When teams go into conflict, most people stop talking. When a company loses a big customer or the main server goes down, most people point fingers and place blame. When the Boston Marathon bombings occurred, most people ran away. Most people. Except for the leaders. Leaders know that when most people are moving in one direction, they have the opportunity to move against the flow and do the right thing.
4. Take action and mobilize your team: In a moment of crisis, few people step up and take the leadership role but almost everyone will help if you give them a job to do. Having something to do helps people stay calm, stay focused and take action to improve the situation. Each day, make a list of the things you and the team have accomplished to improve the situation.
5. Over-communicate: During chaotic times, normal communication channels won’t be working as well as usual. People will be hungrier than ever for information. Give them an opportunity to provide input. Ask people questions to get their feelings, opinions and reactions to the emerging situation. Maintain your visibility and make it clear that you are accessible. Immediately clear up any rumors or misinformation. If you don’t have information, let them know that too.
6. Provide hope: Most people want to follow a leader who has a positive vision that the crisis will be resolved and tomorrow will be even better than it was today. Rudy Giuliani, often referred to as America’s Mayor, said it best about 9/11 and his positive vision about emerging even stronger: “When I said the city would be stronger, I didn’t know that. I just hoped it. There are parts of you that say, ‘Maybe we’re not going to get through this.’ You don’t listen to them.”

When all is going according to plan, most anyone can lead the team in the right direction. The true test of leadership, though, is do you still have those followers when little is going according to plan and you find yourself in the midst of a crisis situation? Great leaders run towards, not way from the crisis. Over time, they not only get the team through the crisis, but build trust, respect and admiration for their leadership.

While it may be your employees who are delivering the service, it is you, the leader who sets the bar for the standard of service. It is important that you have a clearly defined service standard, and that you walk the talk at all times. Remember, you are the role model. Each day, make sure your actions are what you want your employees to emulate.

Here’s how you and your team can, not just meet, but surpass your customer’s expectations:

1. Clearly articulate your customer service vision. What does great customer service look like to you? What should customers experience when doing business with your organization? Clearly communicate this to your employees, and confirm for understanding.
2. Train every employee. It makes sense to train your customer service representatives on customer service, but I’m going to suggest you go even further than that. Train everyone on customer service because it’s everyone’s job. Companies who successfully train every employee to focus on the customer and their total satisfaction, have more loyal customers and are a more profitable business. Does every employee in your company know the average dollar value of one job or the annual dollar value of an average customer? Give employees the training and the tools to wow your customers.
3. Hire for attitude, train for skill. Even after a brief interaction, you can probably tell who enjoys serving others and making customers happy, and who views customers as a necessary evil to receive a paycheck. People with great attitudes enjoy serving others, are easier to train, and are better at developing multiple options if the company’s standard way of serving and satisfying customers is not successful. These individuals are star employees: hire them.
4. Tear down the walls that isolate employees from customers. There are some employees who never have customer contact. We highly recommend introducing customers and sales representatives to employees. When employees know the customers are real people, not just a name or an order number, there is a stronger commitment to satisfy the customer. Two ideas that have proven successful are to 1) videotape a customer being interviewed by a company representative and 2) bring customers on-site for a customer appreciation day and have the employees provide tours.
5. Cater to your customers. Find out what your customers needs and passions are and find a way to delight, or thrill them. Just last week I was at my doctor’s office. I handed the woman behind the desk my membership card and, since my name was spelled wrong on the card, let her know how it was really spelled so that she could find me in the system. Immediately she verified my home address, hit several keys on the keyboard, looked up at me and said, “I’m sorry about that, Sir. I’ve ordered a new card with the correct spelling and you will receive it in the mail next week.” She knew what my need was but she didn’t even have to ask.
6. See through your customer’s eyes. Every now and then, take a step back from your role as leader, or even as employee, and objectively look at what your customer experiences. How do certain processes affect your customers? How well does your product/service work? If applicable, how does your place of business physically look to customers? Take notes and begin to make changes.
7. Measure customer satisfaction. Companies should be measuring whether or not they are exceeding customer expectations on an on-going basis. Measuring your customers’ satisfaction with quality, service, and timeliness are critical indicators of an organization’s long-term success.
8. Reward results and celebrate successes. It’ll be important to align your performance review process and reward system with an organization that focuses on customer satisfaction. And last, when your customers’ expectations have been exceeded, celebrate the success.

What else would you add to this list? Continually improving how you produce your products and deliver your service will create loyal customers who will be thrilled to suggest you to others.

An unwillingness to resolve conflict creates tension, frustration, worry, anxiety and usually, a lack of positive, constructive communication. But what is most important to managers to recognize is that unresolved conflict undermines your ability to effectively lead. When you fail to resolve a conflict on your team, the individuals involved in the conflict, as well as others who observe the conflict, lose respect for you. It’s almost impossible to be recognized as the leader when you aren’t respected.

So why are so many managers hesitant to lean into conflict?

Some simple answers include:

• They hope the conflict will resolve itself
• They are fearful that confronting the problem will make the situation worse
• They have had bad experiences when discussing the topic with the person in the past
• They don’t think the conflict is that big of a deal
• They don’t ask about topics or situations that they’d prefer not to know about
• They feel they can still accomplish their goals and meet their needs by working around the conflict.

When I looked at our updated Leadership Development Assessment (LDA) Benchmark data recently, I was excited to see that one of the top three differentiators of the Best of the Best leaders (top 25 percent) is the ability to solve problems and resolve conflict.

Although the Best of the Best leaders are higher on nearly every question in the benchmarks, they are approximately 10 percent higher in the category of conflict and problem resolution.

The Best of the Best Leaders are clearly doing something differently to gain a rating from their bosses, peers and direct reports that is 10 percentage points higher than everyone else in the Benchmark. From my work with them I’ve learned nine things these leaders do differently when it comes to resolving conflict:

Know the importance of attitude: Your attitude and beliefs will have a huge impact on your ability to resolve the conflict. Having confidence in yourself and believing that by leaning into the conflict you can improve the situation will benefit you as a leader. However, the opposite is also true. Lacking confidence in your abilities or having a negative attitude or vision, will most likely create a negative outcome.

Assume positive intent: Most times, when you develop a negative attitude about someone’s role in a conflict, you assume the other individual has negative intent. Great leaders assume the best about people. Leaning into the conflict with the belief that the other individuals involved also want to resolve the conflict, do the right things and improve the relationship, will help you open up dialogue to resolve the conflict.

Don’t complain…take action: An old sage once told me, “I don’t complain anymore.” He went on to add, “I figured out that 80 percent of the people I complain to don’t actually care about my problems. And, the other 20 percent are actually happy that I’m more miserable than they are.” Complaining is almost always talking about things which you believe you do not control. Focusing your mind on what you do control, believing you have the ability to positively impact the future, and then taking the necessary actions to resolve conflicts will make you the type of leader people want to follow.

Quickly apologize: When you apologize, you take the target off your back. A great opening line to any conflict you are involved in is: “I’m really sorry about what happened. It turned into a conflict and that was not my goal. For my part in creating this situation, I’m sorry.” Unfortunately, some people’s egos are so gargantuan that they impede their ability to apologize for their role in a conflict. When you lack the ability to apologize, I guarantee that this will motivate some people to keep shooting at that target on your back by pointing out your deficiencies that contributed to the conflict.

Be quicker to forgive: Forgiveness is a great healer in letting go of anger. Did you realize that when you’re angry, others have control over you? We all know someone who is angry at their parents, their spouse, their kids, their employees, or their boss and use that anger as their reason for where they are in life. It’s simple but hard for many people to do. When you forgive, and then take action, you regain control over your life.

Determine the benefits: A question every leader needs to ask when faced with conflict is, “What are the benefits of letting the conflict linger?” What are the benefits to you as the leader; to the individuals involved in the conflict; to the team; to the customers and to the organization? Almost always, you’ll find that there are few, if any, benefits to allowing the conflict to continue. Most of the time, resolving the conflict brings many benefits to everyone involved.

Listen: Most conflict is created by people opening their mouths. Use your ears more than your mouth. Asking questions and having a genuine desire to better understand your counterpart’s perspective will help you in resolving conflict. Since people like you so much better when you listen, many conflicts are resolved quickly when people communicate, listen, and truly understand.

Stay calm: It’s easy to stay calm when you have a positive attitude, a positive vision, and a belief in yourself that you have the skills to get the conflict resolved.

Take action now: Most conflicts don’t improve by ignoring them. As a manager who has a desire to be a great leader, people are looking to you with hope to make tomorrow even better than things were today. To improve the team and work environment, conflict needs to be resolved. Put the above listed tips into practice to develop the right attitude and resolve a conflict today.

Working relationships and corporate cultures can also be toxic. In one study, 94 percent of the participants stated they worked with an individual who created a toxic work environment. One employee I recently interviewed said that working at his corporation was almost like a religious experience. When I asked him to elaborate, he said, “With this new boss, it feels like I’m working in hell.”

Who can make a work environment toxic? Although it really could be anyone, we tend to find the majority of examples revolve around senior management, bosses, peers, co-workers and even customers.

What are the behaviors that are demonstrated in organizations that lead to toxic work environments? I’m hoping you’ll connect with us and share your favorite toxic work environment examples. In the meantime, here’s just a sample of what we’ve seen:

• Moody and unpredictable responses
• CYA focus mixed with finger pointing
• Talking about others behind their back
• Dishonest communication – saying one thing to one person and something different to another
• Bullying or abusive behaviors like yelling or swearing
• Unreasonable or excessive demands…and then threatening people if the demands are not met
• Vague, unclear expectations
• Team members are not held accountable to equal standards, either in their results or in the way they treat others
• Feedback is not appreciated, accepted or acted upon
• When feedback is provided, it is almost always negative

Now, going back to my opening example with relatives, if you were the person in charge and could just fire the person exhibiting these behaviors, you would! When toxic people are not held accountable for their behaviors and the impact they have on others, the organization almost always experiences greater turnover. But, what is most important to address and acknowledge is who in the organization is leaving. It’s almost never the toxic person who leaves, but the best performers who have the greatest number of viable alternatives. They truly believe that working with a jerk is not worth the impact it has on their personal and professional life, and they’re confident they have the skills and relationships to find something better. Therefore, this is who you have left: the people who poison the environment and the people who put up with it because they don’t see themselves as having a better option.

Right now, I know some employees are reading this and thinking, “Yes. He’s describing my boss.” A distinction needs to be made. Just because an employee is unhappy with their boss or job doesn’t mean that the environment is toxic. For example, we recently interviewed an employee who described her work environment as toxic. When we asked for details, it became apparent that she had a new boss and, for the first time, was being held accountable for her performance and results. Their new boss had even changed the employee’s work hours to ensure there was more oversight of the employee’s work and greater opportunity to coach her. This is not a toxic environment, but an example of great leadership and doing the right thing.

Here’s some advice for turning a toxic work environment into a great place where employees are connected to their jobs at both the head and the heart:

1. Deal with the real problem: Only on very limited occasions have I worked on projects where the Board or CEO are responsible for creating the toxic environment. Almost always, it’s other leaders or team members in the organization. The toxic individual’s boss needs to tell the toxic carrier that if they don’t change, they won’t be able to continue working at the organization. If the person is terminated because they didn’t change, the entire organization will be more motivated to follow the leader who had the guts to do the right thing.
2. Hire an Executive Coach: When someone has been allowed to negatively impact an entire workgroup or culture, it’s difficult for them to change their communication and leadership style. Most often, they’re going to need help in developing the strategies and actions to make the turnaround.
3. Set a specific time frame for the change: Sometimes people tell me it’s going to take time to change the culture. They’re right, but what they do not specify is the amount of time. Sometimes people can successfully implement immediately, other times they may put it off so long that it never happens. My favorite examples of success happen when a new CEO or leader comes on board and says to the person who is responsible for the toxic environment, “If you don’t immediately change the way you treat people, you won’t work for me, or this organization anymore.” Sometimes the toxic individual quickly changes and exhibits new behaviors; sometimes they leave, claiming that they can’t work in the new environment; and sometimes they get fired. When you’re clear on the time frame and stick to it, the change will be successful.
4. Tell the truth: Most people who create toxic environments are high performers or perform a function that is vitally needed in the organization. If they were unneeded low performers, it would be easy to fire them. Because they are either high performers or are highly valued for their knowledge, people are hesitant to tell them the truth, fearful of upsetting them, or fear that they might even quit if they heard the truth. However, very seldom have I seen a toxic person quit. The toxic contributor needs to hear the truth and know that changing their demeanor and approach is now a condition of employment.
5. Conduct an Employee Opinion Survey: If you’re unsure about the toxic contributors’ locations, an Employee Opinion Survey that breaks out the data by leader or department will give you a strong indicator of employee satisfaction levels in different areas within the organization. Ensuring a wide range of questions and employee anonymity will help you gain valuable insights about your organization’s culture – department by department.
6. Utilize a 360 Leadership Development Assessment: Many times, toxic environments are exposed after an organization has conducted an Employee Engagement Survey. Although Employee Opinion or Engagement surveys provide feedback by leader, department or branch, they’re not usually a big enough motivator to get a leader to change their toxic ways. A Leadership Development Assessment (360) has a much stronger chance for success in providing specific feedback that will motivate the leader to create an action plan and change.

Even if you didn’t create the toxic environment, you can still supply the antidote.

We cannot always control what happens to us, but we can control how we respond and overcome. Exceptional individuals take action in challenging situations, as evidenced by not only first responders, but by people running towards the blast areas to help others, not away.

Exceptional leaders and teams also take action in challenging situations and don’t let the loss of a customer or other hardship destroy their hope and knock the wind out of their sails.

Resilience in the face of adversity isn’t an accident: it takes work on everyone’s part.

Here’s how leaders and teams can stay focused on doing the right thing when faced with hardship.

Stay vision focused: Positive visions provide both direction and hope. Although adversity brings new problems that need to be resolved, the vision remains. A great example of this occurred during this year’s NCAA March Madness. In a game played against Duke in the Midwest Regional finals, Louisville star Kevin Ware suffered a gruesome compound fracture of his tibia, right in front of the bench full of his teammates. Lying on the floor in pain, with teammates and his coach crying, Ware said, “Don’t worry about me, I’m good. I’ll have my surgery tonight. Go win it for me!” Ware was right with his direction to his team. Even in a moment of crisis, stay focused on the vision and goal. Louisville dominated Duke in the second half and went on to win the game 85 to 63.

Over communicate: When adversity or crisis strikes, things change quickly. Some leaders make the mistake of not communicating to their team until they know all of the details. In crisis, details change moment by moment. Without the most updated information, team members cannot make the best decision. You may need to communicate every 15 minutes, once an hour or twice a day. In adversity, you cannot over communicate.

Tell the truth: In 1996, Odwalla Juice was stuck with a devastating E.coli outbreak, similar to what Jack in the Box experienced in January 1993. Stephen Williamson, the CEO of Odwalla knew the importance of telling the truth…no matter what the consequences. Williamson said, “Odwalla didn’t survive by accident. For 15 years, we built a reservoir of goodwill in the Bay Area. When crisis struck, some of that goodwill drained away, but a lot of people still believed in Odwalla, partially because we never deceived or manipulated them. When things go bad, people want to look inside a company and to see whether its soul is good. Ours is.” Willliamson demonstrates that when you tell the truth, you have the opportunity to build an even stronger relationships with team members and customers than if no crisis had ever occurred to begin with.

Set new goals and take action quickly: In times of crisis, seldom do things improve on their own. Quickly bring the team together and review the vision, communicate reality, acknowledge what is still working and then get to work on setting new goals and building an action plan to adjust to the new reality. When the most recent recession struck, the companies who are the strongest today are most likely the companies who reacted to the crisis the fastest by taking the necessary actions to survive a rapidly deteriorating economy.

Re-recruit the cream of the crop: When crisis strikes, some team members may feel that the easiest thing to do is to find another team or job. To reduce the chances of this happening, make sure that team members know you highly value their contributions and need their input and support to keep the ship sailing in the right direction through the storm.

Be grateful: This point sounds contrarian but it’s important to remember that we are all lucky to be alive and be able to experience this life. Take on an attitude that you are grateful for your team members, grateful for your customers and maybe even grateful that this crisis is going to make your team better and stronger, and you an even better leader.

Good times never last forever. Fortunately, neither do bad times. Strong leaders, teams and individuals look adversity in the face and courageously plough on. Remember the words of Winston Churchill, “Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.”

While the definition of fairness might vary from person to person, here are some behaviors of unfair bosses, as shared by employees we’ve interviewed throughout the years:

• Sharing unnecessary information with some employees and/or withholding necessary information from others
• Giving some team members assignments or projects that they withhold from other members of the team
• Spending quality time with some employees, while making it a challenge for other employees on the team to meet with the boss
• Inviting only certain employees to happy hours or other gatherings outside of work
• Overlooking bad behaviors in some employees while holding others accountable
• Withholding honest feedback from team members who aren’t receptive to feedback
• Being personal friends with some members of the team

Whether you’re a boss or a parent, treating everyone consistently and fairly is a challenge. If everyone was equally as agreeable, treating everyone fairly would be a lot easier.

The following tips will help you do the right thing and increase your reputation as a fair leader:

Be friendly, be caring…but don’t be friends with your direct reports: This is a point that many of our clients like to debate. They strongly feel that leaders can be friends with direct reports and that the other employees should just accept that fact. I’d beg to differ. You should never be friends with your direct reports because, when you are, it becomes even more difficult to make the right business decisions. With that said, you should be friendly and caring to each one of your direct reports and hopefully, they will return the favor. Now, for those of you who still think that being friends with employees is a positive, I encourage you to pursue that friendship because that will help us build our consulting practice. Over the years, I’ve noticed that leaders who are friends with their direct reports, tend to need a lot more consulting support to navigate leadership’s white waters.

Recognize that equal and fair are two different issues: Some of your direct reports may take more of your time to coach and mentor. That means that your time is not divided up equally among all your team members. Regardless of time spent, you’re still showing fairness because you remain equally committed to each team member’s success.

Be consistent: If you are going to go to lunch with one employee, invite other employees along or rotate so you take every team member out to lunch.

Hold all team members accountable: Having different standards for different team members will make others perceive you as unfair. This becomes especially apparent when some team members are allowed benefits and rewards that others with similar achievements are not.

Welcome difficult or challenging feedback: If you don’t welcome feedback or only hang out with the people who tell you what you want to hear (aka brown-nosers), you risk being seen as unfair.

Give honest credit and recognition: Difficult team members make it easy to forgo giving positive feedback. When someone does great work, makes a good suggestion, or makes a positive contribution to the team’s success, a fair leader provides the positive feedback and finds a reason to celebrate. You can even tell your most difficult employee, “I am so grateful you are on my team. I know that you will resist and challenge any change I want to implement. I need you to know that helps make me an even stronger leader. Thank you!”

Even if your employees already view you as the fairest leader of them all, the above six tips will help build better working relationships not only between yourself and your employees, but between each team member.

All of us, at times, have packed our own sandwich. Maybe you know or work with someone who seems to be continually burdened with bad luck or constantly having bad things happening in their life. Maybe you have an employee working for you who has one performance-related issue after another. People who experience repeated problems tend to reject solutions that might improve their situation. Plus, if you offer help or provide a solution to solve a problem, they’re quick to tell you why your idea is wrong or won’t work in this unique situation. As simple and logical as these solutions sound, some people still find them incredibly difficult to put into action.

Take a look around at these constant complainers. Do they have many others following them? Actually, they do. But, they aren’t usually the people you want following you as you strive to be a great leader. People who love to complain and blame others love to follow other negative, complaining people. It’s one big pity party.

One characteristic that defines great leadership is the ability to admit mistakes, take responsibility, and then complete the actions that are necessary for building a better tomorrow. Taking full responsibility for your life and your team is an important step in becoming a great leader. The responsibility is yours and you are accountable for your life and the areas that you lead. Although you may not always have full authority over everything you lead, you’re responsible for producing the desired results. Recognize that no one else is coming to rescue you, and memorize this mantra: “If it is to be, it is up to me.”

Here’s how you can focus on taking full responsibility and create an environment where you are a well respected leader:

1. Focus on responsibility, not blame: There are some people who invest all of their energy in placing blame whenever they’re faced with a challenge. My favorite example of this is people in their 30’s or 40’s who blame their place in life on their mother or father. They should realize that their parents did the best job they could with the skills, characteristics, and DNA they were given. In our seminars, we ask the question, “What do you accomplish by blaming a problem or loss on someone?” Most participants respond with, “Nothing.” This sounds accurate but it’s actually far from it. Sometimes people assume that as long as they can find someone to blame, they’re absolved of the need to take responsibility until the ‘guilty’ party fixes the situation. This is an unhealthy view and won’t get them anywhere. Great leaders take action and spend very little of their time blaming others.
2. Set goals: Put simply, a goal is the action of looking at your life or team and saying, “I think I/we can.” To be successful, goals must be specific, measurable, time-bound and be accompanied by a solid plan for achievement. One of the most amazing things about goals is that when you set and achieve them, you begin to feel a sense of mastery over your life. Eventually, you begin to believe you can do anything and find it even easier to take responsibility.
3. Let go to propel forward: In the world of high wire and trapeze troupes, it’s common knowledge that you can’t grab the next trapeze bar until you’re willing to let go of the first bar. For Encyclopædia Britannica, that first bar was the continually expanding, hard-bound books of knowledge that they maintained since 1768. The company has made several major transformations, but the biggest leap came in February 2012, when they announced the decision to discontinue the printed version of the encyclopedias. Only time will tell whether they have successfully grasped the 2nd trapeze bar that is digital, but they had no choice. For them, it was either sink or, let go and grab that second trapeze bar. Once you’re willing to let go of what’s no longer working, you can propel yourself and your team to what’s beyond the horizon.
4. Take action quickly: It’s almost impossible to take action on improving your life or your team while simultaneously blaming someone else. The first is a thought process and action that moves you forward while the latter leads to inaction because it hinges on the errors of the past.
5. Admit mistakes: When something goes wrong and your desired goal isn’t achieved, don’t fret, there’s a remedy. The best solution is to admit mistakes, accept responsibility, and take the necessary actions to improve the outcome. A beautiful thing happens when you admit a mistake: you remove the target from your back and it becomes harder for others to keep blaming you for negative outcomes. After all, a defensive attitude makes it a lot easier, and for some, even fun, to keep blaming you.
6. Admit when you don’t know: Having the ability to say, “I don’t know,” shows people that you’re human and motivates them to help you find a solution. Once you admit that you don’t know something, you gain the ability to ask questions, listen, and learn. As an added benefit, people like you a whole lot more when they’re talking and you’re listening.
7. Get excited: Most of us are familiar with the phrase, “There is little traffic on the extra mile.” This is true among many disciplines. There are few people who get excited about taking responsibility and making a positive difference in the world. Look at it this way: every time you hear someone complain and blame, you’re presented with an opportunity to take action and stand out as an exceptional leader.

8. Celebrate success: While this post is all about taking responsibility and action, it’s also important to celebrate successes along the way, both big and small. When you take responsibility for the outcome, recognize the contributions of others and celebrate the successes, you’ll be a respected leader who’s easy to follow.

To grow accountability and responsibility on your team, you must first be the role model that others want to follow. Personal and professional accountability and responsibility always begin with you. Remember, there’s no one else coming to your rescue.

First, there are people that fight all change, whether it be organizational, societal and so on – we call them the dinosaurs.

The second group’s responses are more moderate ones and while they will not actively fight the change, they behave like a frozen rabbit in the road, staring at upcoming headlights.

Last, the third group of people are the ones who are able to accurately assess the future and possess the flexibility to adapt accordingly. We call them the dolphins because dolphins are one of the brightest mammals in the ocean and possess the skills to adapt to any environment they swim in.

Along with surviving the recession, many leaders and employees have been challenged with adapting to drastic changes in their industry. Unfortunately, there have been some companies who haven’t been able to keep up with increasing competition, technological advancements, and changing customer demands.

When we first posted this blog over three years ago, Blockbuster was flailing and Netflix was on top of the world. Since then, Blockbuster has all but disappeared. Soon, Blockbuster–now owned by Dish Network–will only have about 500 stores open, as opposed to the 4,000 stores it operated nationwide at its height.

Back in the day, Blockbuster was the big name for video rentals and had hardly any competition. Three years ago, Netflix was on top of the world–like Blockbuster once was–but now it shares its perch with two other movie rental mammoths: RedBox and Amazon Prime. And, it seems that every time you want to rent a movie, you have more and more options, each with different advantages. There’s also iTunes, and, at the recent SXSW conference, AMC even announced their own streaming movie rental service. So much has changed in the past three years that it’s difficult to imagine what else will change in the next three years.

This world is changing and it’s changing fast. Some industries such as the United States Postal Service, AM/FM radio, and photofinishing are what we would call “dinosaurs” and are literally dying or are in significant decline as I write this. The decline of these companies proves that it’s crucial for business leaders and employees to embrace new technology and to stay informed on changing industries so that their businesses and skills stay one step ahead of the competition.

Alvin Toffler, author of Future Shock said, “The illiterate of the 21st Century will not be those who cannot read and write but those who cannot learn, unlearn and relearn.” This learning that he speaks of not only involves incorporating new technology, but changing your ways of operating. The economy isn’t what it was even three years ago and this warrants implementing completely new approaches. These changes could (and should) include acquiring new skills, staying technologically relevant, creating new marketing campaigns, and even changing your company mission– anything to help keep your company competitive.

If you don’t want to be left in the dust, never stop learning and never stop changing.