Twelve-Step Recovery from Stupid Behaviors
Every Leader Makes Mistakes. Here’s How to Make Things Right Again.
It seems obvious, but it is worth stating: It’s vital to recover from stupid behaviors. It is also important to emphasize that every manager has done, or said, something in a working environment and then thought, “That was stupid.” The next thought typically is, “What do I do now?”
To recover from stupid behaviors, read the twelve tips outlined below. Putting these twelve steps into action will not only mitigate the impact of your past stupid behaviors, but further develop your leadership skills, add value to your organization and lay a firm foundation on which to build future relationships.
Step #1: Stop the behavior. Although stopping sounds so easy, we have found that lifelong behaviors are some of the most difficult things to change. This takes patience, commitment, and unwavering perseverance.
Step #2: Admit you made a mistake. If you commit one of the eleven stupid behaviors, don’t make excuses. Whether you made a mistake in a personal or professional relationship, acknowledging when you did so is a powerful step. When you are willing to admit a mistake, people are likely to forgive you.
Step #3: Apologize. If you have done something that has had a negative impact on someone else, say, “I am sorry that what I did impacted you that way.” When someone admits they made a mistake and apologizes sincerely, it makes it much more difficult to stay angry with him or her.
Step #4: Ask for help. Some managers view asking for help as a sign of weakness or lack of confidence. Exactly the opposite is true. Asking for help from your boss, your direct reports, your peers, or even a coach is a sign of confidence and strength and will help to increase your chances for success.
Step #5: Give credit where credit is due. While most managers spend a considerable amount of time thinking about workplace challenges and attempting to find solutions, great leaders also invest time thinking about what is going well and looking for opportunities to recognize and reward people for their positive contributions. The more genuine praise and recognition you give people, the more they will be motivated to help you, and the organization, achieve success.
Step #6: Take responsibility. When the results are not what people expected, don’t complain, blame, or explain. Instead, take responsibility to correct the problem. This is not the same thing as admitting you caused the problem. Most likely, you did not cause the problem.
Step #7: Focus on the future. Managers who are famous for blaming others when things do not go as planned almost always focus on the past. The fastest way out of this trap is to focus on the future by asking these two questions: Where do we want to be? How do we get there?
Step #8: Take action. Procrastination leads to serious problems for managers. Most managers know what is right and what they need to do. Managers who do stupid things make excuses for not taking action and doing what everyone knows needs to be done.
Step #9: Think first and then speak. I don’t know about you, but I cannot give constructive feedback when I am angry or upset. It does not matter whether the situation involves my wife, my children, or an employee. When I am angry, my word choice is not effective in helping me move closer to my goal. So, if you are like me, what do you do? The best thing is to think about the situation and respond to your counterpart when you are emotionally calm.
Step #10: Listen and ask questions. As our 89-year-old dad is so fond of saying, “People like you a whole lot better when they are talking.” It’s so simple and so true. Get others to speak first. You can learn so much more about leadership when you listen.
Step #11: Thank people. Please and thank you are words that go a long way in building or rebuilding strong relationships after a manager does something stupid. Thank you is especially helpful when people give you feedback that either you did not want to hear or was difficult for the other person to share with you.
Step #12: Be grateful. One way to be grateful is to imagine coming to work tomorrow and finding that none of your employees have shown up. What would you do? There is no way you can run the whole department or organization all by yourself. If no one is following you, then you are not a leader. If you are going to be successful as a manager, you need people.
You can recover from stupid behaviors and replace them with the leadership skills exhibited by the highest-rated managers. You can start right now.
These tips are summarized versions of our more detailed recovery plan for stupid behaviors, which can be found in our book, The Only Leadership Book You’ll Ever Need.
You may also like:
- Eleven Stupid Things Managers Do to Mess up Workplace Excellence
- One Word Makes a Difference in Leadership Success
- Employee Satisfaction Surveys: Separating Gut Instinct from Reality
Filed Under: Leadership, Peter's Blog on December 3rd, 2009
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