The Work/Life Balance Myth

In a recovering economy that has increasingly expected employees to do more with less, the idea of work/life balance is almost laughable to some. As engaged leaders committed to our roles, we are just as susceptible to blurring that line, if that line even exists.

When you’re committed to and passionate about your job, putting in the hours isn’t as much of a chore as it would be if you hated your job, and resented every moment you spent doing it. If you have a rewarding, meaningful job, the work is likely hard and not easily compacted into the typical 40-hour work week. People who achieve great success in their line of work most often like what they do for a living. They don’t see it as work, but as a central part of their lives.

As much as they live and breathe the work that they love, many successful people also have families and commitments outside of work that they are equally dedicated to. Achieving a balance between work and life outside of work is becoming an increasingly more difficult quest as our lives become increasingly connected, and we are always reachable. It’s not surprising, then, that the pursuit of a work/life balance has been replaced by a pursuit for work/life integration.

While achieving the perfect equilibrium of work and personal time is a noble goal to strive for, the reality is that few can achieve and sustain it. Jack Welch caused a controversy when he said “There is no such thing as work/life balance. There are work/life choices.” I agree. You are responsible for your own work/life balance. Knowing that you can never sustain work/life balance indefinitely helps you redefine success in ways that can positively impact both your career and quality of life.

Make time to think about it. Before you can start to work on better integrating your work and personal life, you need to dedicate some time to figuring out what’s important to you. We are all equally blessed with 168 hours every week. Are you spending those hours doing the things that energize you or make you happy? What does the good life look like to you? If you had one extra hour every day, what would you spend that hour doing? If you’re going to make choices about how you spend your time, you have to make time to think about the answers to these questions first.

Seek energy, not balance: Happiness and work/life balance are not the same thing. You can have perfect work/life balance and be in a dead end, uninspiring job that leaves you depressed and exhausted. You can also be working incredibly long hours on a complex, challenging project and be happy, because you’re spending time in an area of your life that energizes you. Leaders who are engaged, energized and in charge of their lives have something more than happiness. Because they make important choices about how they spend their time, and spend their time on pursuits that energize them, they have fulfillment, which no amount of money can buy. Prioritize what energizes you over forcing a balance.

Take advantage of flexibility: More companies are beginning to see the value of flexible schedules and work arrangements for their employees. If that is available to you, take advantage of it. Take a longer lunch, and catch a yoga class or go for a run. If you want to be a bigger part of your children’s afternoon routine, then leave work a little earlier and take care of reports and emails after they go to bed.

Make choices ahead of time: You cannot excel at all things, at all times. If you drive yourself to excellence in all areas, you’ll most likely only excel in stress and frustration. Instead, think through your current priorities and determine your focus. Depending on where you are in your career, your highest priority might be work, or it might be your life outside of work. If work is currently your highest priority, your focus and decision-making are based on work. If, however, you determine that your children or caring for elderly parents is your highest priority, then your actions are weighted more heavily towards life outside of work. If you take time to think through your current priorities, and make choices ahead of time, then the right balance and allocation of your time will become more apparent. When you are spending time in areas that are important to you, stress levels are reduced and your satisfaction in both work and life outside of work are enhanced.

Communicate your boundaries: Integrating the different areas of your life is one thing, but that doesn’t mean you can’t have boundaries. It is so easy to get caught up in the long working hours conundrum. In cultures where working 60 – 70 hours per week is the norm, people wear their weekly hours worked as a badge of honor. It is easy to feel guilty if you slip out before 6:00. Don’t buy into the guilt. Just because people are working those long hours does not mean they are any more productive than someone working fewer hours each week, but working efficiently. Set and communicate your boundaries. Be willing to say “no” to a request if it doesn’t align with your vision and goals. If being home early enough to spend time with your family is a priority, let coworkers know that they can depend on you to attend an occasional late meeting or evening out with a client, but otherwise, you’ll be leaving at five o’clock each day. Advise your boss and others that you won’t be routinely checking emails each evening and may not pick up messages until the next morning.

On the flip side, if you are in the habit of writing emails late at night after the kids go to bed, consider the boundaries of your employees, too. In our hyper-connected world, employees often feel pressured to respond to emails that are sent well outside of business hours. If you’re crafting late night emails, schedule them to be sent the next morning.

Manage your mind-set: Understand that sustained work/life balance will be an ongoing challenge. It is never easy. Think of it as a moving target on a long journey with an unclear destination. But, do continue to think about it and take action. Identify what stresses you, and develop a course of action to reduce the stress. In some cases, stress can be reduced by determining your current priorities, focusing your actions and communicating your boundaries. In other cases, significant change may be the answer, as in leaving for an organization that demands high standards, but is not as definitive about the hours worked to achieve the outcome and allows for individual flexibility.

You may have come across the popular definition of insanity as “Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” If chasing work/life balance is making you crazy, concede. Back off and make time to think. Do something different to take charge of your priorities and spend your time accordingly. To avoid becoming a burnout statistic, seek energy rather than balance.